Outing Woes: Reactions of Those Around Us

Hi, ladies! I thought that while I was waiting for input from you for the column I would give you all something to think about, and perhaps respond to!

As I was sitting talking to a friend this week, she told me she had something to tell me that she had been putting off for a while! Apparently, an acquaintance of ours had told my friend that she no longer felt comfortable around me since she had found out that I am a lesbian. My first reaction was to laugh and ask "What did she think I was going to do—jump her or what? Oh, of course all gay people are perverts and I am attracted to every woman who crosses my path." Sure. At first, I found it amusing and we laughed about it, but then I got to thinking and realized there was little humor in it after all. I was actually rather offended by her comments and quite angry that someone who I had considered a friend would think differently of me because of my sexuality. The next time I got together with my group of buddies I asked them all the same question and told them I would appreciate an honest answer...."Does my sexuality offend or disturb you in any way?" The answer was a categorical "no!" A couple of them told me that they didn't really approve of it, but I was still the same person they knew and loved and it didn't matter to them what sex my partner was. So I had to figure that the ealier comment was just one of those things that I was going to encounter from time to time, living the lifestyle I have chosen to live.

I have been so very fortunate since my big outing, as I have experienced very little negativity from friends, loved ones or even acquaintances. However, I cannot seem to let go of that one comment. I am the same person I have always been, if not a better person because I have found my place in life that finally brings me true happiness. I have had the big "CHOICE" argument with several people, of course I'm sure we all have. I tried to explain to them that anyone who really had a choice would surely not choose a path that would entail bigotry and discrimination, strange looks from some and disgust from others. If there is a choice it is only between that of living a lie to suit society, unhappy trying to be someone I am not, or being true to myself and having the happiness that I believe we are all entitled to. Whether it is genetic or just a freak of nature I really don't care. I am the person that I am, I cannot change that, nor do I want to. I have resolved that if someone does not like who I am then they can walk away, that is their choice, and if they have a problem with it then it remains just that...their problem.

If any of you have any experiences to share or just comments you would like to make I would love to hear from you, so feel free to email us, and of course my ear is always here for those of you with a problem who need a second oppinion or just some impartial advice. This is an open forum for you to speak out.....drop me a line.