TAKING A STAND: BEING PROUD OF WHO WE ARE
Speaking Out Against the Closet!

OK people—it's time! For what you might ask? For action! We are in the middle of Gay Pride month, and I don't know about you'all but I am proud of who I am. Of course being gay is just a part of who I am, but unfortunately the lesbian is all some straight, so-called Christians see when they find out I am gay. I want to change that. I am tired of being careful about what I say regarding my home life. I have a beautiful wife of whom I am so proud, and yet I feel it inappropriate, in certain circumstances, to introduce her as such. Why should I be? The answer is that I shouldn't. I should expect the same laws and the same privileges that protect everyone else to protect me and my civil rights. But they don't. I should expect to keep a job indefinitely if I perform as expected—but I can't if they find out I am gay. I should be able to marry the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with—but I can't, not legally. I should expect her to be seen as my next of kin in an emergency, but I can't do that either.

Have you ever sat down and really thought about all the things that everyone else takes for granted...the rights that we are denied because of our sexuality. Sit down—think about your life and all the situations you find yourself in, then think about how your decisions and actions are molded by your fear of reprisal because you are a lesbian. You will be surprised...if not disgusted by the degree to which you change your life, the way you act, the things you say, and the people you say them to in an effort to conform to the norm of straight society. I am by no means an anarchist—but I am a member of the human race, a member of this society whose laws are supposedly created for my greater good—and yet many of these same laws serve to keep those basic human rights just out of my reach.

I am tired of it! I have given this much deliberation and realized that we have an incredibly powerful voice. There are thousands...millions of gay men and women in this nation. Together, we cannot be ignored. Sadly many of our family are still in the closet, scared for so many reasons to open the doors. I was one of those once.

I cannot tell those of you who are not "out" how liberating it is to throw the doors open and announce to the world that you are who you are, and you are happy with that person—take me or leave me! Of course there are narrow minded bigots in the world...but there always will be and they will always get the better of us if we keep silent. We have a voice—we need to use it.

This week I attended my first PFLAG meeting (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays). It was great. I made some new friends and got to discuss issues that concern me...us! I met the parents of a young gay man who became involved with PFLAG because they believe they owe it to their son for raising him to believe, incorrectly, that homosexuality is wrong. What an awesome testimony. The father had been a "religious" man, involved in the Baptist church. He now sees himself as a spiritual man with a renewed faith in a God that has love for everyone! Finally, I thought, someone is "getting it." PFLAG was started to assist the parents, families and friends of GLBT individuals who were having trouble accepting the latest revelation from their loved one. The organization has evolved somewhat to incorporate GLBT individuals, both "in" and "out."

I wanted to tell everyone about this organization and the wonderful opportunities it offers for fellowship with other gays and lesbians and also for your families. There are other parents there who have faced the same bombshell as all of ours—parents who are willing to take a stand in support of their children and in an effort to help others adapt and accept this often life altering news.

In addition, PFLAG, which is a nationally recognized and registered nonprofit organization, has become a forerunner in the political forum supporting gay and lesbian human rights. We have a duty to these wonderful parents, families and friends who are standing in support of us to support them. We have a duty to come forward and be counted. There is definitely power in numbers, and we are certainly a vast community. I encourage all of you to contact your local PFLAG organization and become actively involved. You won't regret it and you'll meet some really exceptional people along the way. PFLAG has a website that you can send family and friends to for support if you are thinking of coming "out" or already did. They have so much to offer I don't have the time to even begin—drop into www.pflag.org and see what they have to offer you. Their network of gay-friendly companies and organizations continues to grow and they will do whatever they can to assist you and make your life easier. If all you need is a hug from a "Mom" or a "Dad" because yours just don't understand, well, they will give you one of those too!

Please get involved. We have been silent for far too long and no one is going to give us anything we don't have the courage to fight for.