Archives Features

Olivia Cruises:
Where Fun and Fantasy Meet!

My partner and I love to travel and try to do so at every opportunity, when work and family commitments allow. However, in the back of our minds is always the question of just how "gay friendly" is the place we are going to, and how are other guests in the hotel/resort going to react to us being "out" in public. Since we are both very open about our relationship to our families and at work, we really don’t make an effort to hide it in public. I hate that we even give the issue a second thought, but sadly it continues to be a bone of contention for many people.

That is, until now! What would you say if I told you we found “Lesbian Utopia?” No it’s not a sick joke and I have photographs to prove it!

Picture this: white sands, crystal blue water, brilliant sunshine, a very large boat and 1,500 lesbians! It doesn’t get much better than that.

At the end of January, my spouse and I celebrated our fifth anniversary. She appeared at work one rainy Friday morning in a white limousine and whisked me off to the airport to catch a flight to Florida, where we were to board a cruise ship for a four-day Caribbean cruise.  “What a woman!” you’re thinking…and you’re right, but there’s more! We were two of 1,500 other women boarding the ship, and all 1,500 were gay! We were venturing out on the high seas on our first Olivia cruise.

After the initial disbelief and shock of being hijacked from work, (something my boss and workmates had all participated in), I felt a sudden euphoria. We were about to set sail on a ship with 1,500 other women who all shared one thing in common with us: they all love women. I have to say it was a beautiful thing to see that many gay women in one place, all laughing and smiling, excited to get underway, already making new friends while standing in line to board. I just looked on, amazed.

We had researched Olivia cruises many times with the intention of going “one day.” Well, quite to my surprise, that one day arrived and it was everything I had expected, yet so much more. My amazing wife had a dozen red roses waiting in our cabin for me. Am I making you nauseous yet?? She put all my colleagues’ husbands to shame with her romantic abduction and they are all still hearing about it now, as birthdays and anniversaries come and go without a Caribbean cruise. I tell them they need a woman for stuff like that!

The trip started with a special, very personal, concert by Wynonna. Sadly, she disembarked before the ship left port but it was an experience I will never forget. The auditorium was small enough to feel intimate and I was only about 15 feet from the stage, listening to this amazing woman—who has balls bigger than Dallas for showing up amidst protests from the Christian right—sing to a room full of lesbians. She acknowledged all the women on the ship and their relationships. Wynona was very gracious in her comments about the ladies on board and very open in expressing her disappointment at people who persecute the gay community. It took a lot of courage for Wynona to perform in such a personal concert for a bunch of gay women and I’m sure she had her critics in the press for doing so. You go, Wynona! We love you and we thank you!

The Olivia team literally took over the ship bringing their own entertainment staff, hostesses, and planners who ran the cruise like a well-oiled machine. The entertainers were all lesbian comediennes and singers who were absolutely fantastic. I have not laughed that long and hard in a long time and I have never felt so pampered in my life. The crew was exceptional, and the chefs and kitchen staff were wonderful too, especially since they were the only males on board and outnumbered by about twenty-to-one.

Olivia’s owner and director was also aboard with us, (she goes on all the trips), and I think must have sat down and visited with every person on that ship. We had lunch with her one afternoon and she asked us what we thought of the trip and what would we like to see added to their brochure for next year, so we got to give feedback to the owner, which was great. Olivia cruises were her original concept and it has taken several years for them to become the booming business they are today. Judy told us that she is able to put on more cruises each year, as word spreads, and she can charter the ships with the knowledge that she will be able to fill them, which was not the case when she got started.

We made two stops at ports of call in the Bahamas and went ashore to shop and lay out on some of the whitest sand I’ve ever seen. The locals were very welcoming and friendly, you’ll be pleased to hear.

One of our stops was to a private island where we were literally the only people on a vast expanse of shoreline. The ships crew took a fantastic buffet lunch ashore and we ate by the sea looking out at our ship docked just offshore. There were all sorts of excursions and adventures to go on, if you so chose, from scuba diving and parasailing to kayaking and deep-sea fishing. You never have a chance to be bored. And if the excursions didn’t tempt you there was always the Olivia Olympics on the beach where you could participate in team “sport” activities while enjoying beachside beverages, or just simply lay on the beach soaking up the sun.

Meal times were a dilemma simply because of the overwhelming quantities of food that was all so good you felt obligated to try everything, and then the all night ice-cream bar…need I say more? When you book your trip you are asked to select a dining time for dinner, which has two seating times: an early and a late. All the evenings’ entertainment is also shown twice so that both seatings get the chance to see the shows. We chose to sit with two other couples, although you can sit alone or rotate each night to a different table. You choose when you book your cruise. The ladies we sat with at dinner turned out to be a great group of girls, we became good friends before the trip was over, and we still communicate by e-mail now.

The Olivia entertainment director, who, by the way, has the sexiest voice on earth, announced every activity and event on the loudspeaker. Her greeting always started “Good morning / afternoon / evening ladies of Olivia...” I heard that in my sleep for days and we both wanted to record her messages and take them home with us!

Throughout the trip there were participation entertainment events like the “Oldywed / Newlywed” game, and the talent show, which were both huge hits and had everyone crying with laughter from start to finish. For the nocturnal creatures, there were two clubs aboard the ship that rocked and danced the night away. Something for everyone.

Olivia also has a singles group and a group for the older lesbians, affectionately called the OWLS (Older Wiser Lesbians). Both groups had events throughout the cruise to get ladies together and provide them with some activities and excursions oriented to their needs.

It’s amazing how quickly you get used to being spoiled rotten and living a life of leisure, which for someone who never relaxes, is quite an event. Neither of us wanted to leave.

My hat comes off to the ladies of Olivia and the exceptional service and entertainment they provided, not to mention the fun activities and personalized touches throughout the cruise. I know that my spouse and I will definitely be venturing out on more Olivia vacations, whether by sea or resort. We have already talked our friends into one next year. What a refreshing way to relax and enjoy a vacation totally focused—not only providing you with exceptional service—but oriented totally toward our particular lifestyle.

Tune in to the next “The L Word” and see for yourselves as Dana and Alice go on an Olivia Cruise. Everything you see on the show is the real deal, and to top it all, two of the Olivia staff spends the entire trip with camcorders taping the activities. Once back on dry land, the tape is edited and every cabin gets its own copy as a reminder of their vacation. What a deal!

The only downside is getting off the ship and finding yourself back in the real world. But at least now we know where to find “Neverland.” —Kirstie Tindale.

Features | Archives